You’re standing in a field, when suddenly something bonks you on the head, but when you see the object, round, red and short-stemmed lying on the ground, if you’ve any hunger in you at all, it won’t take long to realize the missile was an apple, there was no perpetrator, just a falling… apple. You … Continue reading A Gift After All: Mom, Memoir, Monsoon, & Madness
I don’t usually post two days in a row, but today’s story is different than yesterday’s. As the Buddha said, everything is impermanent. Only change is certain, and truly we never know what will happen next. After posting yesterday’s post about Mom’s frustration and unhappiness, I talked with Mom on the phone (for the 2nd … Continue reading Post-script to yesterday’s blog…
I almost never make my bed, unless I’m having a party and people need to lay their coats and purses on it. The way people do at parties. After a lifetime of making my bed, I finally ran out of steam for it. I don’t know if not-making-my-bed is an unconscious belated rebellion against … Continue reading Blessing the world…
Mom has had trouble with a number of her caregivers. Now she is having trouble with another. This came up in a family discussion the other day when I said the latest caregiver is sweet and kind, but she doesn’t really engage with Mom. So, what’s the difference between care-giving and engagement? I was asked. There … Continue reading Mom Update: the philosophy of engagement
In a way it started with loneliness. But in another, more practical way, it started with my daughter asking if she and her beloved could have their small wedding in my back yard. I said Yes, of course! What else would I say? I love my daughter more than all the stars in a cloudless … Continue reading The Blue Bench
Tuesday, high noon. Mom, asleep. Her lunch tray sits on her bedside table getting cold. Later, I can ask for it to be microwaved to warmth when she’s rested and ready to eat, if she is. Much goes uneaten these days. Earlier she went for physical therapy, after which she sat in a chair for… … Continue reading “…walking each other home.”
4:13am Mother’s Day I’ve been awake worrying about Mom since she got sick two weeks ago, and now, moreso that we moved her into the so-called Skilled Nursing Facility yesterday. It’s located in the same building her independent living apartment is, where she has thrived in a more constrained way for the last 7 … Continue reading Update on Mom in the form of a riff…
Sick and weakened, Mom paused on her way back to bed from the commode. She looked at me closely, Do you think other people get to be this old, and this sick, and die in this way? Yes, they do, I replied, as simply and honestly as I could. Several times this week, she mentioned … Continue reading When to make nice & when to call BS.
Having met with a favorite friend, Sara, for breakfast at the restaurant, Toast, I was feeling happy and open-hearted as I strolled up West Portal Avenue last Monday, a warm spring day. I wandered into the Bookshop and bought a few books for a favorite little friend whose 2nd birthday is coming up soon. There … Continue reading Wanderment
Did you know that I was lovers with Eldridge Cleaver? You didn’t? The crazy thing is, neither did I! Not until this past year when my cousin Neil told me, asking point blank, “Did you have an affair with Eldridge Cleaver?” What??!! Who told you that? I gasped. We all thought you had. My mom … Continue reading Fake news…
Gayle Markow: As I am... 