“…walking each other home.”

3 thoughts on ““…walking each other home.””

  1. Gayle, This was so beautiful and heart wrenching. You are walking her home and that’s both a difficult and beautiful thing to be part of. I wonder if it would help if you both allowed her to just be and not try to fix her? Maybe she is exhausted from trying to please everyone? Can you be open with her about this part of her journey? Is good, caring hospice care a possibility? You are probably getting a million suggestions and I am sorry for intruding on this time you are having with your mother. I know it is not easy for you. I wish I could help. Just know I feel for you during this time. xo Charlotte

    Sent from my iPad


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    1. Gosh, Charlotte, I hope I didn’t indicate that I was trying to “fix” her or that I haven’t been open to this part of her journey. I feel totally open to her journey. I am trying to “read” what SHE wants. Since she is sometimes confused, I have to pay close attention to see what it is she most needs from me — encouragement to eat and exercise?? help to do that? or just being with her as she rests. I don’t want to short change her in whatever way she wants to go. She doesn’t have either a “terminal” illness diagnosis nor a 6 month prognosis. She can’t get into hospice at this time. That said, Hospice of the Valley is an extraordinary organization here, which helped my dad in the last months of his life. He also died a most peaceful and supported peaceful death in their facility. I would love for Mom to be accepted into their program; she simply does not meet the criteria. That said, I have gotten her into their “transitional” program, which means she is “connected” with them and can receive some limited services… When I am away from her next week, we have hired some of their private pay home care workers to be with her and take care of her from 7am to 7pm each day. At night she will have what she has now, the regular staff at the SNF who can help her up to the bathroom the 2 or 3 times a night she needs that. The night staff is not as kind as the day staff, but since I cannot stay up 24 hours, I had already abdicated staying up at night. I spend the whole day with her… Yeah, this kind of stuff isn’t easy for anyone, the parent or the kid, even the grown kid. We’re all doing the best we can, and it’s hard, made far worse by incompetent and unkind nursing staff, starting at the top. Most of the nurses ARE really nice, but they are understaffed and don’t have time to be in her room with her. A few of the nurses are quite mean-spirited. Not good.


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